Bruised and Broken
by CAcherrycola
Summary: Mac has never been able to pick the perfect guy.. What if he's been there all along? (not PG13 rating yet.. might build to that in later chapters)HM
1. Battered

This is one of my 1st fan fics since I came back from, like, perma-hiatus and I just want 2 know whether y'all like it or not so just R&R and please flame if u must! -- even lowly shippers need 2 b corrected 2! lol  
  
Rating: PG13 (prob. Not even that)  
  
Summary: Mac has gone in and out of abusive relationships her whole life. When Harm finally attempts to be the perfect guy, will she accept him or drive him away? HM (all the way!)  
  
Mac brushed an errant tear off of her bruised cheek; wincing at the flash of pain her simple motion had caused. Her only thought was to get up, to get out of the situation she had found herself in yet again. Gathering her purse and quietly stuffing in its spilled contents, as to not wake the sleeping form lying on the floor; she stepped toward the door. The body twitched and let out a mumble of drunken curses almost unintelligible at this point. With a firm sort of determination Mac shut the door firmly and made it to her car. She spend the next hour sobbing before realizing her latest abusive partner would eventually come to and be sober enough to come after her.  
  
"Mac!" the voice was almost too cheerful for her ears to tolerate after the events of last night. "Good morning, ma'am!"  
  
Bud looked expectantly at her grinning from what seemed the epitome of his permanently happy soul. Mac managed a withered smile and stepped around his form 'just get to your office.. she told herself.. just shut the door and think..'  
  
Bud's face crumpled into a deep frown, "Harriet?" he questioned his wife, "is something wrong with Colonel Mackenzie?" Harriet stared at her husbands confused face. "Sweetheart," she replied, "What do you mean.." "Well did you see the bruise on her face? And the cuts?" Bud countered. "No.. Oh Bud, this could be serious; should I talk to her?" Bud shook his head, "not yet Harriet, I don't think she's really in the mood for that. I just wanted to know if you knew anything."  
  
Meanwhile  
  
The sun shone brightly through Commander Harmon Rabb's Window; squinting he checked his alarm clack, "Shit!" he yelled; it was 8:45 leaving him not long to shower and get his six into work. After a freezing cold shower that had forced him to use another string of curses he had managed to get to work without spilling coffee on himself. Harm jogged up the flight of stairs to his office, he was already late for the 9:00 meeting Admiral had called for that morning and there would be a price to pay for that. As he passed Mac's office he briefly gazed in, the sight he saw turned his stomach and caused him to stop dead in his tracks. Colonel Mackenzie, the woman he relied on to be strong and unemotional; was sobbing, her face a mass of bruises and cuts. Harms pulse quickened and he forgot all thoughts off work and the meeting he was supposed to be in at the moment and knocked quietly.  
  
Mac looked up and saw Harm's worried face peering through her window, "Can I come in Marine?" he questioned. Her brown eyes filled with tears at the thought of him knowing the shameful position she had put herself in. "Y- yes.." she managed. He entered her office and stared seemingly through her with the most hard-to-read look she had ever seen on his face. "Was it Drew?" he asked her softly; she saw his face flush and could almost hear his temper flare when she mutely nodded.  
  
'Why does she do this to herself!?" Harm angrily asked himself. 'She is so beautiful and yet she settles for these drunk..' he couldn't finish the thought; Harm saw red every time he looked at her puffy bruised face with tears streaming down it. Mac looked so alone and hurt; he had never seen her in a position quite so bad. He usually heard how she had hit back causing these "boyfriends" of hers to be very in awe of just exactly what a furious marine could do. But today she looked different, like she had given up.  
  
"Please saw something.." Mac begged Harm, "Please just don't give me that look." Harm cleared his throat and Mac began to steel herself for the torrent of words that were sure to follow. "Mac.." Harm's voice broke at this point, "You.. why?" His grey blue eyes had filled with un-shed tears. This simple act cause Mac to break down her defenses completely, "I couldn't hit back Harm. I-I didn't know what was wrong with me but he hurt me Harm.. and I couldn't do anything; I was weak.."  
"No" Harm said determinedly, "Not weak Mac.. never weak" then he motioned for her to continue. She stared at him and replied, "I just don't know what to do anymore Harm, I can't keep doing this to myself.." He agreed and then looked up worriedly as His name was yelled through the office, "COMMANDER HARMON RABB!" it was obviously the admiral and he was obviously not in a good mood.  
Mac's moment of weakness had been covered by her professional shell as Harm turned to face her. "Mac--" Harm pleaded "Promise me we'll finish this?!" Mac glanced at him, "You better get in admirals office before he send out the search party." She attempted this as a pathetic joke and it was accompanied by an even feebler smile. He looked at her as his name was again, irately screamed through the office, "HARMON!" with that he ran toward admirals office his mind on a young woman with problems bigger than admirals at the moment.  
  
So.. what do ya think? Is it worth continuing? (and yes I know there is n- one named Drew in any of the show's episodes but this is like, "JAG" time.. I'm making him up 4 the benefit of my story! 


	2. Realizations

Hey thanx 4 the reviews.. and sry about the "Harm" instead of "Cmd. Rabb" thang.. I kinda haven't watched it lately due to the unfortunate NOT hooking up that's going on btw Mac and Harm! lol -- enjoy  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own nething that is even remotely connected 2 JAG.. wish I owned Harm however there is always Christmas 2 look forward 2!  
  
Neway on w/ my story!!  
  
Harm rubbed his temples and let out a long sigh, "Well commander?" the question brought back Harm into the real word; and it was a rude awakening. Admiral Chegwidden was leaning on his elbows looking at Harm expectantly. "S-Sire.. I'm sorry sir I missed the.."  
  
"Damn straight you missed it! Son, where have you been these past ten minuets? Normally I do not put up with behavior like this from those under my command but I'm willing to put up with it if you will tell me why you have been staring at the door moaning like a woman!"  
  
Harm had been called many things by the Admiral during his career but a 'moaning woman' had not been one of them. "Sir" he replied tersely, "Am I at complete liberty to speak?"  
  
Admiral Chegwidden shot him a look of distain. "Does it matter Commander?" Harm had the good graces to look embarrassed, "It's just that, sir, for the past few years Colonel Mackenzie will show up at work in not what I would describe as the best of condition, and has anything been done to remedy this situation?" Harm knew from the look on the Admiral's face he would get a mouthful but he couldn't seem to stop -- hurriedly he continued. "Bruised and sometimes I just know she has ribs that must be broken and we as whole just pretend we don't see her or maybe we just don't want to see what she has allowed to happen!"  
  
Admiral Chegwidden rubbed his chin and let his thoughts settle. "Commander Rabb," he began his voice was low and dangerous. "Maybe you have been the only one trying to ignore this.. this 'problem' as you call it! If you haven't noticed I will call Sarah Mackenzie in my office and Harriet is always quick 2 see to it that she gets proper medical attention. You, Commander Rabb, have always been the one that pretends he doesn't see his best friend, perhaps the woman he loves, in this dangerous position. And you, are the one who needs to do something!" He finished with a sharp rap on his desk and a curt, "Now you, go do something."  
  
Harm stared at the Admiral complete shock ran through his body, 'woman I love' he thought, 'could it be true?' numbly he was ushered out of A.J.'s office and left standing outside his door.  
  
"Anything wrong sir?" Petty Officer Coats asked. It was a simple question but Harm's mind was still reeling and unable to function. The Petty officer raised her eyebrows and waited for Harm to speak, "How.. How long?" he mumbled.  
  
"How long what sir?" she countered. "Has everyone known.. that I love.." his posed question dropped. "Oh..." Coats gave him a knowing look, "For a long time.." She grinned at his retreating back, "Are you actually going to do something about it this time?" she yelled after him. Harm could only nod and smile.  
  
meanwhile  
  
Mac stared at the box of cases she was supposed to be reviewing. Her mind couldn't concentrate on just one thing, it was whirling full of thoughts of a certain flyboy and the look of pain he had given her. A quiet knock filled her body with even more thoughts of how he would try to help her and instantly her Marine training took over and with a brisk, "Come in." she waited for his lanky form to fill her doorway. Instead she was faced with a plump and concerned Harriet.  
  
"Oh m'am!" the exclamation came out before Harriet had time to stifle it. She was always the care-taker; after Bud's accident she had been the one he relied on to help him and she was always there for her little boys. But when she looked at Colonel Mackenzie she saw someone who had no one to rely on. Instantly she took her on as her personal project. "What.. well let's get you cleaned up."  
  
"Thank you Harriet." It was simple but in all her years Mac had never known anyone like Harriet. She still didn't know whether to treat her as a friend or as the mother she never had.  
  
Lt. Harriet Sims' eyes filled with tears, "Oh ma'am.." "Call me Mac, Harriet."  
  
Commander Sturgis was not prepared for the sight he would see as he rounded the corner that morning. It was as though Commander Rabb was trying to.. dance? "Harm.." he attempted cautiously in case Harm had gone insane and was slightly dangerous. "Harm.. he tried again."  
  
"She.. I.. I love her Sturgis!" Harm chortled happily. "Yes.. well I'm very happy for you.." Sturgis doubtfully replied.. and rolled his eyes as his friend ran off to.. well tell someone else; hopefully the one woman who truly needed to hear it.  
  
Well there ya go.. I'm running out of ideas so.. just give me suggestions on how he should tell her.. or if he should at all (seeing as y'all seem 2 b loving the tortured anguish that can also be labeled as "JAG" season 10 or 11 or w/e.. luv ya! 


	3. Requests

Ok.. I'm lovin' the reviews.. pats self on back no.. seriously it'd great 2 get feedback especially ideas.. =P neway, can someone tell me how 2 get my lines and biig spaces to show up b/c they're there when I upload it but.. When they actually post on the site all my paragraphs and neat lil swirly "meanwhile" thangs are gone.. so yea.. just help..  
  
Disclaimer: still waiting 4 Christmas.. although my bday is b4 Christmas so if David Elliot would like 2 show up on Aug. 14 wearing.. umm a bow.. that would b great.. drooooooooooooooooooooooooool  
  
Harm could never remember being so happy. It was although all those angst-filled years were completely over! Although, he was a bit upset about the whole office knowing he loved her before he had actually figured it out for himself. But none of that mattered now. He loved her and he would tell her.. then he remembered the condition she was in. Harm's face fell she probably wouldn't be ready for such a declaration to occur. Maybe he wouldn't spring it on her quickly but take his time and, 'gradually, eventually' he schemed to himself, 'she'll fall for me to!' This plan in mind he wanted to make sure they were still having dinner. Ignoring Sturgis's implication that he had lost it Harm rolled his eyes and crossed the office floor to get to Mac's office where he could hear Harriet and her speaking in hushed tones.  
  
"Oh ma'am you don't have to ex-explain it to me.." Harriet was stuttering. "No Harriet," Mac sounded tired, "I need to tell someone. "Well -- if you want to Colonel" was Harriet's soothing reply. "I screamed his name.." Mac's voice faltered.  
  
Harriet's immediate gasp was proof that she was as shocked as Harm who was still eavesdropping outside the Colonel's door. "W-who's name," she questioned. "Harm's.. see Drew had come to my place late and he had been drinking and we—we" Mac's jumbled words stopped abruptly. "And you.. wow.." said Harriet. "I didn't think he heard but Drew stopped and left I didn't know why until he came back with an empty bottle of vodka and a crowbar."  
  
Harm who had been listening in astonishment until this part felt his blood boil at the mention of Drew's name; Drew was third in a long list of Mac's latest abusive partners. She had met him during her stint with the CIA; he was a dashing operative and she had been the gorgeous lawyer only to happy to see his affection come her way. He had showered her with presents and Mac had looked truly happy for the first time in weeks so no-one had said anything to her when Drew had started becoming drunk more frequently. Then one day Mac had come to work with a black eye that she tried to pass off as, "a simple misunderstanding" and since Drew didn't look that dangerous everyone believed her until today obviously.  
  
Harriet looked up and a strangled noise and saw Commander Rabb outside the door. She didn't know how much of Mac's confession she had heard so with a, "Ma'am please feel free to call me or Bud at a moments notice.. and take care of yourself." She shyly stepped out of the office pulling the door closed behind her.  
  
Harm looked curiously at Harriet. "How long have you been there?" Harriet hissed softly. "Were you eavesdropping?" she accused. Harm blushed for what seemed the umpteenth time that day. "Yes.. I suppose I was." Harriet sighed, "Well Sir, as I see it the ball is in your court and you better not miss-hit because that poor girl doesn't need anything else complicating her life." With a polite nod Harriet walked off.  
  
His pulse was racing and he felt like a Junior High kid attempting to ask the fabulous senior cheerleader out.  
  
Mac's door reverberated with what seemed to Mac to be the umpteenth knock that day. "Enter" she said briskly. Harm was peeking around her door, "Can I.. well umm.. are you free?" He looked more nervous than she had ever seen him! "Of course Harm!" Mac laughed; she went to brush her bangs out of her face and felt her eyes well up as she hit a tender spot. "Oww!.. Oh I'm sorry did you want to ask me something?" she asked as Harm visably shrunk back against the wall.  
  
"Mac.." he started, "Yes?" she paused. "So.." no that was not the right way to do it he had to make this romantic and sweet. "Maybe.." nope; this still wasn't right. Mac gave him the oddest look, it was as though she didn't realize the inner demons he was fighting and the arguments that were raging within. 'Of course she doesn't' Harm told himself. Quickly taking a hint from the second look of puzzlement that crossed her face he asked, "Would you be interested in hanging out at my place tonight?" He crossed his fingers hopefully and badgered her with a, "I'll order pizza... or a dead cow!?!"  
  
Mac grinned at Harm playfully, 'cocky little bastard' she laughed to herself. "Oh why not!" she said all previous thoughts of her wounded condition fled from mind. All Sara could think of was how she had screamed his name and what trouble it had gotten her into the first time, briefly she pondered whether she would ever has cause to scream his name for real. Smiling, she thought of his reaction, 'if he only knew..' Mac giggled to herself.  
  
'If she only knew what I know..' Harm said to himself. She was laughing about something. He could have watched her laugh all day; her eyes crinkled up and even in their bruised form her lips would purse joyfully. Shaking his head to clear his mind of these impromptu thoughts he turned to see the whole office craining their necks to get a glimpse of the two. Blushing Harm stuttered a, "W-well I guess I'll see you tonight then."  
  
Mac laughed at his bashfulness, "Yes Sir," she saluted Harm playfully. "Around sevenish then Commander?"  
  
Harm couldn't help but join in the laughing this time, "Yes Mac, Seven is great." He walked out of her office whistling  
  
The're ya go! Should I send 'em on a mission 2gether or wut? Ion kno.. I was thinking we could keep it hot an' heavy on the homefront.. heh.. sry about not updating recently... been busy dumping assholish bf's.. yep so if ur 15 free and MALE.. I am 15 free and FEMALE! (I kno.. we were ment 4 eachother.. lol ttyl – Bekah) 


	4. Accidents

Wow—I had no idea ppl were actually reading the captions I so (helpfully??) put in.. yea as 4 the bf thang.. he's back so delete my previous entry from y'alls minds.. =P soooo I guess on w/ the story.. and just for my own pleasure Mattie or w/e the heck the chick who Harm had the misfortune of like, having to adopt is dead.. well maybe not dead but she does not exist in my Harm and Mac universe...  
  
Mac rang Harm's doorbell.. 'Why am I so nervous?' she asked herself while feeling very stupid; 'Great Marine, not only are you worried about hanging out with your best friend.. your TALKING to YOURSELF.'  
  
As if he could hear her, Harm threw open the door with a huge smile on his face and a bit of flour on his nose. "Nice Harm.." Mac giggled licking her thumb and wiping it off. "Well," retorted Harm in a hurt voice, "I thought it added a damn nice touch."  
  
The two of them joked their way into the kitchen where Mac stood in shock as Harm continued babbling about him and Sturgis's latest attempt to catch the Admiral off guard. Finally noticing the shocked look on her face Harm stifled his chattering and glanced at what had Mac so shocked.  
  
It was just a table set for dinner to anyone else but Mac had noticed the little things like how Harm had put her hamburger on a china plate and her soda in a crystal goblet; the tablecloth was freshly laundered and everything.  
  
"Geeze Harm," she moaned, "what was going threw your six when you put a hamburger on a china plate?" Harm grinned evilly, "Well Mac, I believe that presentation is everything, and if you insist on eating such vulgar food the least I can do is dress it up a little." Mac shot him a superior look, "Your ruining hamburgers for me!" she snapped. "Well I can try.." Harm laughed.  
  
They ate their food in silence, a hamburger for Mac and a salad for Harm. He kept sneaking looks at her face trying to read the expressions he was finding their. "Good love Harm," Mac finally asked, "What ARE you looking at?" Harm blushed furiously, "I just was wondering if you were gonna tell me what happened?!?"  
  
As soon as the question was posed Harm knew he had made a mistake Mac's body had stiffened and her eyes became red, "If that's all you wanted to know than you made a mistake using china plates because I am not staying to help wash them." Harmon watched in shock as Mac gathered her coat and prepared to leave. With a slam that reverberated throughout his apartment Mac had gone.  
  
Quickly Harm snapped out of his trance and leapt up to go after her, "MAC.. WAIT!!" he groaned, as he opened his door and saw the elevator close behind her. 'great jackass,' he mumbled to himself, 'way to make her feel better'. With a long string of curses flying out behind him he grabbed his coat and ran out into the hall and found the stairs .  
  
After sprinting three flights he burst out into the wintry night. Just in time to see her car go flying out of the parking lot. "SHIT" Harm roared running after her car. "MAC!" he yelled, "PULL OVER." But Mac either was ignoring him or didn't hear him because she kept speeding down the road. He ran after her, 'what I would do for this woman..' he though out loud as his lungs felt like they would burst and his legs were on fire. It had been too long since he had seen active duty and his long inside days as a lawyer were taking their toll on his body. Harm ignored the pain best he could and put on a burst of speed as he saw her car idling at a red light.  
  
"MA-AC!" he tried again just as the light turned green. Then out of corner of his eye he saw the truck speeding toward her. "NO!" he screamed in anguish, "STOP" but there was nothing anyone could do. A look of complete fear took over Mac's face as she saw the truck. Her eyes connected with Harm's just before the accident happened. Mac mouthed , "help please" and then it was over.  
  
Ripping out his cell phone Harm dialed 911 and yelled into the phone, "There's been an emergency!" A seemingly bored voice replied, "And what is the nature of this emergency sir." Harm flushed furiously; did this idiot not understand what was going on? "My friend she's been in an accident -- it's serious!" The voice agreed, "Yes sir, and where are you now." Harm looked angrily at the phone this was getting no where he noticed a young man standing near the light in shock, obviously upset at what he had just witnessed. "Do you live around here" Harm questioned, "Y-yes sir.." the boy nodded. "Well give the address to the 911 operator alright?" Harm thrust the phone at him after he was sure the boy knew what do to. "Yeah, the light on Forest Road..." Harm heard the boy say as he sprinted over to Mac's car.  
  
It was a crumpled mass of metal, "Dear God," Harm prayed, "If you just save her.." It took all of his self control not to rip the car apart to find her but if she was seriously injured he knew that movement like that could kill her, "MAC.." he sobbed can you hear me? There was no answer..  
  
...... Almost three hours later at a Hospital near JAG head quarters.............  
  
Harm's emotions had been drained dry; the team of paramedics and police officers had shown up shortly and after cutting the roof off of what had been Mac's car they had managed to pull her out. She was bloody, broken, and covered in cuts; but breathing.  
  
"Why" seemed to be the question that kept nagging at Harm's mind. 'Why Sara? Why did I have to make her upset enough to leave?" but that had done no good and for the next two hours Harm had been peppered with questions by the policemen, the paramedics the hospital staff. Harm didn't understand why they couldn't just leave him alone.  
  
As if to mock him on that a nurse turned up next to him, "heh- hem" she cleared her throat softly. Harm looked up at her through blurry, red eyes, "Yes.." he said gruffly. "We thought you should know sir, your umm.." she checked her clipboard at this point, "..friend has stabilized, and the list of contacts you provided us with have been notified of her condition." She began to step away.  
  
"Wait.." Harm grabbed her arm, "what do you mean stabilized. "Well sir," the nurse said while removing Harm's hand from her arm, "Her blood loss is being replenished and she is breathing almost on her own." Harm stared at her, "And that's being stabilized??" his voice grew louder and the nurse shushed him while motioning for one of the guards to come over.  
  
Just in time, as if he had planned it, The Admiral showed up. "Commander Rabb" he growled, "That is enough!" Harm's eyes flew up to the Admiral's face while he was thanking the nurse and politely apologizing for Harm's behavior. "Great Commander," Admiral Chegwidden spat out as soon as the nurse had left, "Get yourself thrown out of the hospital before you have had a chance to see the Lt."  
  
Harm slipped his face into his hands miserably, "It's my fauly Admiral if I hadn't asked her.."  
  
"Be that as it may," the Admiral stated, "Your going to be no help to her if your not around."  
  
Well how's that? Jeeze louis I really got into that one.. kinda went overboard but.. yea and I forgot just exactly where JAG's headquarters are located so if you wouldn't mid give a girl a bit of help here. Aiight hope you enjoyed it.. now I need ideas 4 the next chapter.. as y'all know I live to serve... o and Abigaile I am gonna try 2 fit in ur idea..i just need 2 get a better setting... 


	5. Hospitals

yay the reviews are awesome.. I like, sat at my computer giggling and trying to explain JAG 2 my one friend and the reviews and everything and she was like, "umm look Bekah, I am really glad you have found some poor people to read your story but like, I don't care.." yea.. well that part wasn't so much fun but.. still really funny..! =P neway here's ur chapter Navy Babe..  
  
Hours later Harm was awoken by a soft tap on his shoulder. Blearily he peered out of his heavily-lidded eyes, "Humm?? wassit??" was his eloquent question. "S-sir" came a shaky voice Harm recognized to belong to the nurse he had snapped on earlier. "Yes?" he tried, sounding a bit more polite.  
  
"Miss" she checked her clipboard nervously; "Sarah Mackenzie has woken up and is requesting to see you." Harm woke up fully at that. "Oh, well.. yes I'll be right in!" Harm said. "Umm.." the nurse backed up warily, "Room 312 sir.. you'll have ten minuets the doctors don't want to over-tire her." And with that she scampered away glad to be rid of the strange man whose moods changed as constantly as her annoying habit of applying bubble gum pink lip- gloss.  
  
"Mac?" Harm whispered as he stepped into her sanitized, bright room. His eyes adjusted to the constant light as he stared at the many tubes coming out of Mac's body. "Oooh.. Mac.." he moaned as he looked at the fresh bruises and cuts that covered her old ones. He saw her hand flutter slightly.  
  
"H-harm?" she whimpered; he stepped over to her bandaged side and grasped her hand, ever careful of jostling the many lifelines connected to her. While he peered at her he felt tears gather and begin falling from his eyes. "Oh Mac, if only I hadn't of let you leave. Maybe if I wouldn't have asked.." his apology was stifled by a racking sob that threatened to take over his body. "Mac's eyes fluttered open and an exhausted smile pasted itself on her face. "Harm," she breathed softly, "It wasn't your fault it was mine.." the smile threatened to disappear but she maintained it bravely, "I let stupid things bother me; namely fighting my best friend when he's trying to help me." Mac's grin filtered off her face and she closed her eyes in a restless sleep.  
  
Harm would have sat next to her bed, quietly holding her hand asking himself how he had allowed things to get to out of control. But his reflections were constantly interrupted by nurses and doctors bustling around Mac changing tubes and checking monitors. Eventually Admiral Chegwidden came to the hospital and spoke to Rabb.  
  
"Commander," the Admiral began, "This isn't helpful or healthy." Harm glanced at him as though he was insane. "When she wakes up I need to be the first one she sees." He argued weakly. The Admiral gave Harm's unshaven and rumpled form a once-over and snorted. "Well Rabb, let me assure you that Colonel Mackenzie has quite a different preference than me but you would not be the first person I would like to see looking like that."  
  
Harm looked down at his wrinkled t-shirt and jeans and realized he was beginning to look a little bit crazy. "Yes sir." He agreed slowly. "Now" began the Admiral again, "Colonel Mackenzie has been sleeping for two days and you've been skulking around the hospital getting.." he sniffed at this point; "Progressively smellier." Rabb chuckled for the fist time in days. "Now Commander get your six up and I'll give your ass a ride home, and let me assure you the instant Mac wakes up the hospital will let you know."  
  
Sorry about how short the chap. Is this time.. but; I gotta go on vaca.. so this is all I had time 4 but as soon as I get back (or if I can find myself a comp. in the middle of no-where) =P so.. yea plz r&r.. luv y'all 


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